just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
