She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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