i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
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mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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