i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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