also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
