if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
