I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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