I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
