I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
