from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
