Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
