So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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