Have you finally orgasmed yet?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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