So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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