She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
