if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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