I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize