her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
