I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
