That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize