Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
