Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
