you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
