She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
