she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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