The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
