PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
