why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
