I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
