yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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