Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
