God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
