I need to stop coming to work sober
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you had me at cake vodka
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
