i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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