My sheets look like a crime scene.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she looked like the before picture.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
