Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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