after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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