i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
