for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
