If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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