Where are you?
In a non slutty way
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
