i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
