Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
