She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
