I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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