once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
