well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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