Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
