He kissed a someone with a penis
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
FUCK WHALES
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
