Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
