Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize