Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
