She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You pole danced in your parka.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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