If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My liver just had a heart attack.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize