lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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