You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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