I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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