I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
