All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize